Wandering Mind
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my wife’s so cute because we both love animals so much but her way is very pure and genuine whereas my family is:
me, holding up my cat: stinky
wife: no!! don’t be mean!!!
me, swaying him back and forth in the air: stinky bastard man
wife: No!!!!!!!!
my mother, not looking up from chopping veggies: naughty boy. brat cat
wife, distraught: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In case anyone doubted the validity of my claims:
The wife:
The mom:
I t s b a c k
IS THIS THE ORIGINAL OMG
(via sugar-free-byproducts)
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the year is 2012.
I have two tabs open. one is tumblr. I am 160 posts back on my dashboard - I have made it back to the place I left off the night before.
satisfied, I open the second tab to pull up a post-avengers fanfic. everyone lives together in stark tower - each of them has their own floor. for no explained reason, loki shares thor’s. no one questions that he has not been arrested. the team has friday evening movie nights. at breakfast, thor eats all of tony’s pop tarts.
I am content.
to all the people saying this was an embarrassing time: I am 34 full years old and reading/writing these fics brought me so much joy and rereading them still does. embarrassment is a construct, cringe culture is dead, and the found family trope saves lives.
#they were not as cringey as the actual mcu movies are now (via @nostalgiaiscool)
(via faerl)
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they need to bring back cool older family members who teach you how to use a torrent client
that’s me except i’m 23
no thats basically what i meant i was taught by a 14 year old when i was like 10. piracy should be one of the very first thing you learn how to do on a computer. computers should be thought of as piracy devices first and tools for work second
(via faerl)
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Y’all know that like…. being fat isn’t bad right
Like, most human bodies have adapted in such a way that it’s easy to gain fat and muscle and harder to lose them. Especially fat. It’s easy to gain fat bc your body needs it and we live in a calorie-rich time. Fat =/= bad, and I’m so so so tired of our entire society acting like it does.
(via trashgnomesanonymous)
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every so often i remember pog stands for pomegranate orange guava and i am struck down by the sheer strength of the butterfly effect
1. Haleakala Dairy creates a juice of passion fruit (not pomegranate, my bad), orange, and guava and calls it “P.O.G.”
2. A game involving milk bottle caps pops up in the 70s, haleakala makes their lids collectable to play that game with the “POG” label
3. Game gets very popular in the 90s, gets called “pogs” based on the og caps (primarily) used having “POG” on them
4. Streamer Ryan Gutierre makes funny haha exaggerated faces in 2010
5. In 2011, same guy releases a video called “Pogs Championship”
6. PogChamp emoji is created, short for the “Pogs Championship’ video, and its used to signify excitement (also sometimes "Play Of the Game” since it shares an acronym)
its all fruit
(via trashgnomesanonymous)
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Not like this hasn’t been happening in the military for years.
Yep! My dad was in the Coast Guard during the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell era and one thing he mentioned was gay and lesbian service members marrying each other both for mutual bearding, and because married people got better housing.
Additionally my grandmother married one of her guy friends because her job offered dental insurance to employees and spouses and he needed some dental work done. They got married, processed the paperwork, got his dental problems fixed, made sure all the insurance payments went through, and divorced.
Two people getting married for the benefits has been going on as long as we’ve had benefits to marriage, and if two women doing it is homophobic then I guess someone’s going to have to tell my grandmother she was heterophobic.
like the thing that’s an actual problem is that these benefits are dependent on marriage. that people need, as in the example above, healthcare and may not be able to afford it without insurance shared by a spouse (let alone the other rights only extended to those with a legal partnership)
Reminder: disabled people have the opposite. We can’t marry ANYONE or we risk losing our benefits. It can work out if we are marrying someone who can support two people on one income, but that basically isn’t a thing anymore, so.
Include us in your activism.
(via trashgnomesanonymous)
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Still trying to come to terms with the fact I’ll never be a librarian who can speak a dead language and be recruited by a ruggish but handsome explorer for a quest to lift the curse and save the world
because of the pandemic travel restrictions?
Because of the pandemic travel restrictions.
(via trashgnomesanonymous)
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That’s it, the Professor is truly the King of Sass
The letter didn’t come from the Nazi party, but from the publishing house which had expressed an interest in the German translation of The Hobbit. Tolkien’s response really is a thing of beauty, though, so it deserves to be quoted in its entirety:
25 July 1938 20 Northmoor Road, Oxford
Dear Sirs,
Thank you for your letter. … I regret that I am not clear as to what you intend by arisch. I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people. My great-great-grandfather came to England in the eighteenth century from Germany: the main part of my descent is therefore purely English, and I am an English subject - which should be sufficient. I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride.
Your enquiry is doubtless made in order to comply with the laws of your own country, but that this should be held to apply to the subjects of another state would be improper, even if it had (as it has not) any bearings whatsoever on the merits of my work or its suitability for publication, of which you appear to have satisfied yourselves without reference to my Abstammung.
I trust you will find this reply satisfactory, and remain yours faithfully
J.R.R. Tolkien.
(Letter 30)
The Hobbit wasn’t published in German until 1957.
This might just be the politest “fuck you” ever written.
W.h.a.t.
Not just “I wish I had Jewish ancestors, but I don’t,” but also “you do realize that’s not what ‘Aryan’ actually means, right,” and “you guys are making it pretty hard to be proud of my German heritage.”
Nazis: Are you Aryan?
Noted linguistics freak Tolkien: Are you?
(via averypotterwhovian)
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Concept: Sam finds out elves can die of sadness, gets very concerned, starts doing his best to make sure Mr Legolas is happy all the time just in case
This causes a terrible dilemma when Legolas expresses that he’d prefer not to be addressed as Mr Legolas and Sam doesn’t want to risk upsetting him but also that goes against everything he knows.
‘Mr Highness Greenleaf sir’
Mr Greenleaf, sir? Mr Green? Mr Leaf?
*Legolas and Gimli fighting, as usual*
Sam: Stop! STOP! You leave Mr L- Elf alone, Mr Gimli!
Legolas: Why, thank you, Sam. You see, Gimli? Your dwarven rudeness has even upset Sam-
Sam, sobbing: He can’t take such a talking to, Mr Gimli! He’s such a sensitive soul. Much more of that and he’ll be dead by morn!
Legolas:
Aragorn: Sam, don’t worry. it takes a lot more sorrow than that to kill an elf
Sam: but these are really sad times
Aragorn: excuse me
Sam: we’re all very upset all the time because of the quest. what if something small is what pushes him over the edge
Aragorn: it doesn’t work like that-
Legolas, genuinely panicked: what if it works like that??
Aragorn: I’m sure it doesn’t
Legolas: he had a point I AM very upset all the time
Gandalf: Legolas I assure you no elf has ever died like that
Legolas: NOT YET THEY HAVEN’T
Legolas & Sam: *both panicking*
(via averypotterwhovian)